You might be a Vatican II only Catholic if...

1. You think Vatican II has changed Catholic doctrine.
2. You think that kneeling to receive the Eucharist on your tongue is an outdated medieval practice.
3. You think that a cheap table cloth with a hole cut in it passes for liturgical vestments.
4. You love those ugly felt banners that hang from the ceiling of your church.
5. You think that glass dinner ware passes for the sacred vessels of the Mass.
6. You think it is your right to be part of the flock of Extraordinary ministers that hover around the altar like vultures waiting to grab the “bread and wine.”
7. You think the death penalty should be completely abolished from the face of the earth because you think retribution and justice is cruel.
8. You think the crusades were started by a Pope who loved violence and hated the peaceful religion of the East.
9. You hate St. Thomas Aquinas, and you think he is boring.
10. The only Church document you have ever read is the New Catechism
11. You hate Latin.
12. You hold your hands up, or clap, and sway at Mass.
13. You think that “On Eagles Wings” is great liturgical music to replace Gregorian Chant.
14. You can’t tell the difference between the altar and the tabernacle.
15. You are upset because the Pope says the Church cannot ordain women.
16. You like liturgical dance.
17. You think it is not ecumenical to tell people that the Catholic faith is the one true faith.
18. You think that 'Summorum Pontificum' was a mistake made by the Pope.
19. You think that the Mass is all about the community.
20. You think that Thomas Merton was the greatest mystic of all time.
21. You think that St. Therese of Liseux wanted to be officially ordained a priest.
22. You cite the USCCB as an authority for your Catholic faith.
23. You think that Cardinal Bernardin was a great theologian.
24. You think Karl Rahner was a genius.
25. You think the secondary end of the conjugal act is now the primary and sole end.
26. You think your daughter has a right to serve as an altar boy.
27. You think a head bob replaced genuflection.
28. You think St. Paul was chauvinistic pig because he told women to cover their heads.
29. You substituted the crucifix for a flying Jesus. (Resurrected Christ)
30. You think the sign of peace is an intermission where you get to catch up on the latest news.
31. You think your priest looks better in a sweater than his collar.
32. You think its hip that nuns are now wearing slacks and Reebocks.
33. The only religious art you have in your house are of Ghandi and Dorothy Day.
34. 'Brother Sun, Sister Moon' is your favorite Catholic saint movie of all time.
35. You drop your teens off at the Life Teen Mass.
36. During football season you wear your favorite team jersey to Mass.
37. You think that you have to pray the consecration prayer during Mass along with the priest.
38. The Latin Mass bores you.
39. You think that Mark Shea is the new G.K. Chesterton.

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